Why Do I Feel Triggered So Easily?

Understanding emotional triggers and how to feel safer in your own skin

You know those moments when something tiny happens and your reaction feels huge?

A slightly sharp email.

A certain tone of voice.

Someone going quiet, or arriving home later than usual.

On the outside it looks like “nothing much”.

On the inside your heart is racing, your stomach drops, your thoughts spiral, and before you know it you are either snapping, shutting down or wanting to run away.

Then comes the self talk.

“I am overreacting."

"Why am I like this?”

“Other people do not get this thrown by little things.”

I hear this so often in my therapy room. And I have felt it myself.

What we often call an overreaction is usually something very different. It is your nervous system trying to protect you, using an old map. 

What a trigger really is

When you feel “triggered”, it does not usually mean you are weak or dramatic. It means that something in the present has reminded your system of something in the past.

Your brain is incredibly good at pattern matching. It is like a search engine that is always asking, “Have we seen this before?”If the answer is yes, and that past situation was scary, shaming or overwhelming, your body reacts as if you are back there again.

Your logical mind might know you are sitting in a meeting or on the sofa at home.Your nervous system is convinced you are in danger. So your heart races. Your muscles tense. Your chest feels tight. You freeze or want to lash out.

This is not you being silly. This is your body saying, “I know this feeling. I remember what happened last time. I am not going to let you get hurt again.”

Which is why I often say to clients: it is not overreaction. It is overprotection.

Your inner agent on high alert

In another blog I talked about the “FBI agent” or “MI5 agent” in your subconscious.

For some people, their inner radar is like a normal person strolling down the street thinking, “Is that safe? Yes, I am probably fine.”

For others, especially if there has been trauma, chronic stress or unpredictable relationships, their radar is more like a highly trained agent with their earpiece in, scanning every doorway, expecting trouble at any second.

Your inner agent is not trying to ruin your day. It is trying to keep you alive. The problem is that it often cannot tell the difference between a genuine threat and a difficult email. So it hits the alarm button in situations where you are technically safe, and you end up feeling like you have “overreacted”.

When we understand this, something important can shift.Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?”, we can start asking, “What happened to me that taught my system to be this alert?”

And from there, “What would help my inner agent feel safe enough to stand down?”

From trigger to choice

You cannot stop yourself ever being triggered. No one can. But you can learn to understand your responses, calm your system and gradually rewire the patterns that feel so automatic.

That process usually involves three things:

1. Awareness without shame

   Noticing what happens in your body when you are triggered and naming it gently. For example, “My chest is tight, my shoulders have tensed, my mind is racing. This is my nervous system trying to protect me.”
   

2. Updating the old story

   Many triggers are linked to deep beliefs like “I am not safe”, “I am about to be abandoned”, “I am wrong again”. These often come from much earlier experiences. When we can find and soften those beliefs, current situations stop feeling so life or death.
   

3. Working with the body, not only the mind

   Triggers are felt as much in the body as in the thoughts. So healing needs to include the nervous system as well as the thinking brain.

   
   

This is where the therapies I use can be really helpful.

• Cognitive Hypnotherapy helps us uncover the unconscious beliefs that sit underneath your triggers and change the way your mind is pattern matching. Instead of automatically jumping to “I am in danger”, your system can begin to recognise, “I am uncomfortable, but I am safe enough to respond differently."
  

• Somatic EMDR works directly with the memories and sensations that still live in the body. Using gentle bilateral stimulation and body awareness, we help your system process old experiences so they no longer hijack you in the present.

  
  

Over time, the trigger may still flicker, but it does not take over. There is more space to breathe, to choose, to respond rather than react.

It Is Not Overreaction, It Is Overprotection

If you recognise yourself in this, I want you to know:

You are not broken. You are not making a fuss. You are not “too much”.

You are someone whose nervous system learned to be on high alert, often for very good reasons at the time.

With the right support, that inner agent can learn that you are safer now.It can relax its grip. And you can begin to feel more at ease in your own skin, even when life throws you the occasional sharp email, awkward silence or difficult conversation.

If you would like support with that, you are very welcome to reach out. I offer a free, no pressure consultation, so we can explore what you are experiencing and whether working together might feel like a good fit.

Frequently Asked Questions

What exactly is an emotional trigger?

An emotional trigger is a strong reaction to something in the present that is linked to an old experience. Your nervous system is responding to both what is happening now and what it has stored from the past, which is why the reaction can feel bigger than the situation.

How do I know if I am “triggered” or just overreacting?

If your response feels sudden, intense and a bit out of proportion to what is in front of you, or if it feels familiar in a way you cannot quite place, it is often a trigger. You might notice physical signs like a racing heart, shaking, going blank or wanting to escape.

Can I heal triggers even if I do not remember the original event?

Yes. You do not need a perfect memory for this work to be effective. We can start from what you notice now, in your body and emotions. Approaches like Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Somatic EMDR work with current patterns and sensations, and the nervous system can still update and heal, even if the original story is not fully clear.