Why Am I Always on Edge? Understanding Trauma, Hyper-vigilance, and the Nervous System

The Nervous System on High Alert

Have you ever found yourself reacting to something seemingly small in a way that feels... too much? Maybe it’s a sudden loud noise, a change of plan, a look from someone, or even just the thought of being alone—and your heart races, your mind spins, and your body tenses.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is something I see often in my therapy room—and more importantly, it’s not your fault.

Many of us live in a state of hyper-vigilance—that constant feeling of being “on guard.” It’s like our nervous system has been trained to expect danger at every turn, even when nothing in our present moment is actually unsafe.

And that can feel incredibly exhausting.

Trauma Isn’t Always Obvious

When we hear the word “trauma,” we often think of major, life-threatening events. But trauma can also come from smaller, repeated experiences that made us feel unsafe—emotionally, physically, or relationally. These could be things like:

• A parent who was emotionally unavailable or critical

• A chaotic home environment growing up

• Being bullied or rejected

• Experiences of feeling alone in your pain

  
  

Our nervous system doesn’t just record the events themselves—it learns from them. It stores away messages like: the world isn’t safe, I can’t relax, I have to stay alert just in case.

And so even when the threat is no longer there, your body and mind are still acting like it is.

Meet Your Inner FBI Agent

One way I often explain this to clients is like this:

Imagine that inside your subconscious is a radar for danger. For most people, it’s like a gentle security guard, wandering along asking, “Is that safe? Yep, I’m all good.”

But for you? It might feel more like a highly-strung FBI agent—gun drawn, scanning every corner, checking every shadow, expecting the worst at any moment.

It’s no wonder you might feel jumpy, anxious, or overwhelmed when new situations come up. You’re already on high alert, already carrying the weight of past experiences that told you the world might not be safe.

But here’s the key thing to know: you can talk to that FBI agent. You can begin to reassure that part of you that it doesn’t have to stay on guard forever. It’s Not Your Fault

So many clients ask me: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be calm like other people?

But what if there’s nothing wrong with you at all? What if your mind and body are simply responding exactly as they were taught to do, based on your past?

Understanding this is powerful. Because it shifts the question from what’s wrong with me? to what happened to me? — and that’s where healing begins.

How QCH Therapy Can Help

In QCH Therapy, we work gently with your subconscious to help it feel safe again. We explore the root of that hyper-vigilance—not by reliving trauma, but by changing the beliefs that were formed during those experiences.

We speak directly to that inner radar, letting it know:

• You are safe now.

• You have everything you need within you to be strong.

• You can choose calm over chaos.

• This is not your fault.

Over time, that inner FBI agent starts to lower its weapon, to trust that things have changed, to stand down. And with that, you begin to feel lighter, calmer, and more in control — because your body finally feels it can rest.

Ready to Start Feeling Safe Again?

If any of this resonated with you, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. I offer a free consultation where we can gently explore what’s going on for you and how therapy can help.

It’s not about fixing you—because you’re not broken.It’s about helping you feel safe enough to live the life you want to live. Because you deserve that. Truly. Let's Chat.