The Power of Choice: Reclaiming Your Inner Authority

How Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Somatic EMDR can help with decision anxiety

There’s a quiet moment I often witness in therapy, the pause when someone realises they do have a choice. Not always the choice they wanted, not always an easy one. But a choice, nonetheless. And in that realisation, something powerful happens: they begin to reclaim a sense of agency, of possibility, of self.

When we feel like we don’t have a choice, life can feel suffocating. It’s easy to slip into a fear-based mindset, or even a quiet victimhood, believing that life is something happening to us rather than something we’re actively shaping. This is why I often speak to clients about moving from a fear mindset to a growth mindset. It’s not about being relentlessly positive. It’s about recognising when we’re choosing out of fear, or choosing to grow.

Sometimes, the choices we face are stark and unfair. They’re not the options we imagined for this stage of life, or for who we thought we’d be. But even then, you are still choosing. When you own that, even when both options are hard, you take your power back.

I’ve had people say to me, “You’re so lucky you get to travel,” and I gently correct them. I choose to. I choose to save money for experiences that bring me joy. I choose not to spend it elsewhere. That same principle applies across our lives. Whether it’s the hard decision to undergo a medical procedure, leave a job, or stay in a relationship, recognising it as your decision gives you strength. It might not feel like much, but it matters.

Even uncertainty can become part of the gift. When we fixate on the fear of the unknown, we miss the fact that it’s also where joy, discovery, and unexpected growth live. Choosing to step forward, even into uncertainty, can be an act of courage, not recklessness.

I think often of my own decision to stay in England rather than return to Australia. I miss the sun, the sea, and the familiar laughter of my favourite people. But I choose to stay – it's not forced upon me. And that means I also get to choose to embrace the good that’s here. The people I love, the fulfilling work, the proximity to new places and cultures. If I believed I had no choice, I’d feel powerless. But when I acknowledge it is a choice, I get to reclaim the narrative.

And here’s the thing about choices: we can’t always know where they’ll lead. We can spend years second-guessing, playing out what might have been. But there are no “wrong” choices, only the choice you made with the information and resources you had at the time. Regret can trap us in fear. Self-compassion can set us free.

Next Steps

If something in this post resonated with you, and you're ready to feel more in control of your choices, let’s talk. I offer a free consultation where we can explore what’s been going on for you and how therapy might help.

Because healing begins when we realise we are not stuck. We are not broken. And we are never without choice.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if I feel like I don’t have any good options?

Even when none of the choices feel ideal, *recognising* that you still have a choice can shift your experience from powerlessness to agency. It doesn’t mean pretending it’s easy—it means honouring your capacity to choose, even in difficult circumstances.

Q: Can therapy help me make big life decisions?

Absolutely. Therapy isn’t about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you untangle fear from instinct, reconnect with your values, and feel more confident in the direction you want to take.

Q: What if I regret a choice I made?

Regret often comes from the belief that there was a “right” decision and you missed it. In truth, every choice teaches us something. Therapy can help you move from self-blame to self-understanding, so you can make peace with your past and feel more confident in your future.

Q: How do I know if I’m choosing from fear or growth?

Ask yourself: Am I running away from something, or moving toward something meaningful? Fear-based choices often feel urgent and constricting. Growth-based ones may feel scary too, but they tend to carry a sense of alignment and expansion.

Q: Can therapy help me feel more in control of my life?

Yes. The process of therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of agency, understand what’s been driving your decisions, and feel more empowered to create change.