When “Not Enough” Is Running the Show: Understanding the Root of Overdoing, Burnout, and Self-Doubt

The Quiet Belief That Drives Everything

There’s a voice that lives quietly in the background for many of us. It might sound like:

I should be doing more.

Sound familiar?

This belief — I am not enough — is one of the most common threads I see running through the stories of the clients I work with. And I know it intimately, because it used to run mine too.

It’s a belief that drives us to do more, be more, push harder… and yet no matter how much we do, it never quite feels like enough.

Because the problem isn’t what we’re doing. It’s what we believe we are.

Where Does That Belief Come From?

Often, this feeling doesn’t come from one big traumatic moment.It can begin in the smallest of ways—A teacher who once asked, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”A parent who, without meaning to, praised achievement over effort.Moments of feeling unseen, unheard, or not quite right… that over time, add up.

As children, we don’t have the tools to understand context or nuance.Instead, our brain makes meaning: If I wasn’t chosen, I must not be good enough. If I was yelled at, I must have done something wrong. If I try harder, maybe they’ll notice me.

And from those moments, a belief is born.One that we carry—quietly, persistently—into adulthood.

How “Not Enough” Shows Up in Adult Life

This belief doesn’t just sit still. It infiltrates.

It can drive us to:

• Overachieve, hoping that success will finally silence the doubt.

• People-please, so we don’t risk rejection.

• Push ourselves, even when we’re running on empty.

• React defensively to feedback, because it echoes the very thing we fear.

• Seek constant approval, needing to hear that we’re okay from others, because we struggle to feel it inside.

  
  

It can also look like the opposite:

• Burnout, because nothing feels good enough to stop.

• Withdrawal, because what’s the point in trying if you already believe you’ll fall short?

• Strained relationships, where we either overcompensate or shut down.

  
  

I’ve been there.

Three times in my career I’ve hit burnout—hard—without understanding what was really driving me. I thought I was just a dedicated professional, someone who cared deeply. And I am.But I was also someone unknowingly being led by a belief that no matter what I did, it would never be enough.

What If That Belief Isn’t True?

Here’s the life-changing thing. That belief? It isn’t a fact. It’s a story.

And stories can be changed.

One of the most powerful things aboutQCH Therapy is that it helps you go right to the source—not just to manage the symptoms, but to change the underlying belief.

QCH therapy helped me find the origins of that old “not enough” script—and gently rewrite it. Not by pretending everything was fine, or layering on surface-level affirmations… But by actually speaking to that part of me that had held onto the belief for so long.

Because when your subconscious realises it doesn’t need to protect you with that old story anymore?That’s when things start to shift.That’s when doing less feels safe.That’s when validation comes from within, not from others.That’s when you start believing you are enough, as you are.

Changing the Script

In QCH therapy, we don’t use a one-size-fits-all approach. We work with your story, your experiences, and your beliefs.We uncover where “not enough” came from…And then we change the story.

Because once you believe you are enough, you stop living in fear of falling short.You make decisions from a place of worth, not guilt.You learn to rest, say no, receive love, ask for help—and mean it. You live differently.

And it’s not only possible—it’s easier than you might think.

You Are Already Enough

If you’ve been pushing, striving, doubting, burning out—maybe it’s time to pause and ask: what am I really chasing?Because often, what we’re chasing is a feeling we’ve been missing inside.

If that resonates, let’s talk. I offer a free consultation where we can gently explore what’s been driving your inner voice—and how we can begin to shift it.

You’re not broken. You’ve just been trying to feel enough in a world that never taught you how. Let’s change that.