Why CBT Didn’t Quite Work for Me

It Wasn’t About Thinking Differently.

It Was About Believing I Was Enough. CBT

I tried CBT. More than once, actually. And in some ways, it really helped.

I learned to notice my unhelpful thoughts. I practised challenging them. I journaled. I had tools.

But even with all that, I burned out. Again. And again. And again.

Because no matter how many times I told myself I didn’t need to prove anything… Deep down, I still believed I wasn’t enough.

That belief didn’t live in my conscious thoughts. It was buried deeper — underneath the overthinking, underneath the drive to do more, be more, help more. It was in the background of every "yes" I said when I wanted to say no. Every time I put someone else first. Every time I pushed through stress and exhaustion because the idea of “not doing enough” made me feel physically ill.

Three burnouts. And I still didn’t get it.

Until I started working with someone who didn’t just ask me what I was thinking. They helped me uncover what I believed, and when/where I learned it.

Coping vs Healing

CBT is a wonderful, evidence-based tool. And for many people, it brings real results. It’s structured. It’s practical. It gives you something to do.

But when the issue isn’t the behaviour itself — it’s the belief driving it — changing your behaviour can feel like trying to patch a leak without turning off the tap.

I could reframe a thought. But I couldn’t stop the subconscious pressure that said, “If you stop achieving, they’ll see you’re not enough.”

What finally helped me shift that belief — and the emotional weight that came with it — was a different kind of work. Cognitive Hypnotherapy helped me find the original “seed” of those beliefs, and gently loosen their grip.

And slowly, I started to make different choices. Not because I was forcing myself to behave differently — but because the pressure to prove myself was gone. I truly believed i was enough.

Science That Backs It Up

I’m not the only one who’s found this helpful.A pilot study published in the Mental Health Review Journal (2015) found that 71% of clients who received Cognitive Hypnotherapy for anxiety or depression considered themselves “recovered” after just four sessions. This compared to around 42% of those using traditional approaches like CBT.

That doesn’t mean CBT is wrong. But it does suggest that for some people — especially those with deeper, belief-driven patterns — a more flexible, integrative approach can make a bigger difference, faster.

When I Needed More Than Talking

Later, when I went through one of the most painful experiences of my life — the traumatic loss of our adoptive daughters — I realised again that not all healing happens through talking. No amount of journaling or thought-challenging could touch the depth of that grief.

This is when I turned to EMDR. And not just any EMDR, but a gentle, somatic approach that helped my nervous system slowly feel safe again. That’s the thing about trauma — it isn’t just in the mind. It’s in the body. And unless we include the body in the process, part of us stays stuck. Read about the lingering effects of trauma here.

For me, combining Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Somatic EMDR created a space where I could grieve, release, and actually move forward. It helped me not just manage my emotions, but truly begin to heal them.

How I Can Help

If you’ve been trying your best but something still feels stuck… if the same patterns keep showing up even when you know better… it’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s often because something deeper is driving it — and that part of you might need more than logic or tools. It might need compassion, curiosity, and a different way of working.

That’s what I offer in therapy. A safe space to explore the root of what’s going on. Not to rehash your past — but to gently untangle the parts of it that still echo today.

If you're curious whether Cognitive Hypnotherapy or Somatic EMDR could help, feel free to reach out. I'm always happy to answer questions, and I offer a free consultation if you'd like to talk more about what support could look like for you.

FAQs About Therapy Approaches

Q: What’s the difference between CBT and Cognitive Hypnotherapy?

CBT focuses on identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts, mostly through structured, conscious exercises. Cognitive Hypnotherapy works at both the conscious and unconscious levels — helping you shift the beliefs and emotional patterns that may be fuelling those thoughts in the first place.

Q: Can Cognitive Hypnotherapy work for anxiety and burnout?

Yes. It’s particularly effective when anxiety or burnout is driven by internal pressure, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or limiting beliefs like “I’m not enough.” It helps reduce the emotional “charge” around these beliefs so they don’t run the show.

Q: I’ve tried CBT and it didn’t help. How is this different?

CBT is often a top-down approach — changing how you think in order to change how you feel. Cognitive Hypnotherapy often goes the other way around: helping you change what you believe and feel, which in turn changes how you think and behave.

Q: How does Somatic EMDR fit into this?

When trauma is involved — whether it’s a big event or a long pattern of feeling unsafe — it often lives in the body. Somatic EMDR uses gentle techniques to help the nervous system release those stuck memories and reactions, making deeper healing possible.