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How Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Somatic EMDR can help with decision anxiety There’s a quiet moment I often witness in therapy, the pause when someone realises they do have a choice . Not always the choice they wanted, not always an easy one. But a choice, nonetheless. And in that realisation, something powerful happens: they begin to reclaim a sense of agency, of possibility, of self . When we feel like we don’t have a choice, life can feel suffocating. It’s easy to slip into a fear-based mindset, or even a quiet victimhood, believing that life is something happening to us rather than something we’re actively shaping. This is why I often speak to clients about moving from a fear mindset to a growth mindset . It’s not about being relentlessly positive. It’s about recognising when we’re choosing out of fear, or choosing to grow. Sometimes, the choices we face are stark and unfair. They’re not the options we imagined for this stage of life, or for who we thought we’d be. But even then, you are still choosing. When you own that, even when both options are hard, you take your power back . I’ve had people say to me, “You’re so lucky you get to travel,” and I gently correct them. I choose to. I choose to save money for experiences that bring me joy. I choose not to spend it elsewhere. That same principle applies across our lives. Whether it’s the hard decision to undergo a medical procedure, leave a job, or stay in a relationship, recognising it as your decision gives you strength. It might not feel like much, but it matters. Even uncertainty can become part of the gift. When we fixate on the fear of the unknown, we miss the fact that it’s also where joy, discovery, and unexpected growth live. Choosing to step forward, even into uncertainty, can be an act of courage, not recklessness. I think often of my own decision to stay in England rather than return to Australia. I miss the sun, the sea, and the familiar laughter of my favourite people. But I choose to stay – it's not forced upon me. And that means I also get to choose to embrace the good that’s here. The people I love, the fulfilling work, the proximity to new places and cultures. If I believed I had no choice, I’d feel powerless. But when I acknowledge it is a choice, I get to reclaim the narrative. And here’s the thing about choices: we can’t always know where they’ll lead. We can spend years second-guessing, playing out what might have been. But there are no “wrong” choices, only the choice you made with the information and resources you had at the time. Regret can trap us in fear. Self-compassion can set us free. Next Steps If something in this post resonated with you, and you're ready to feel more in control of your choices, let’s talk . I offer a free consultation  where we can explore what’s been going on for you and how therapy might help. Because healing begins when we realise we are not stuck. We are not broken. And we are never without choice. Frequently Asked Questions Q: What if I feel like I don’t have any good options? Even when none of the choices feel ideal, *recognising* that you still have a choice can shift your experience from powerlessness to agency. It doesn’t mean pretending it’s easy—it means honouring your capacity to choose, even in difficult circumstances. Q: Can therapy help me make big life decisions? Absolutely. Therapy isn’t about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you untangle fear from instinct, reconnect with your values, and feel more confident in the direction you want to take. Q: What if I regret a choice I made? Regret often comes from the belief that there was a “right” decision and you missed it. In truth, every choice teaches us something. Therapy can help you move from self-blame to self-understanding, so you can make peace with your past and feel more confident in your future. Q: How do I know if I’m choosing from fear or growth? Ask yourself: Am I running away from something, or moving toward something meaningful? Fear-based choices often feel urgent and constricting. Growth-based ones may feel scary too, but they tend to carry a sense of alignment and expansion. Q: Can therapy help me feel more in control of my life? Yes. The process of therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of agency, understand what’s been driving your decisions, and feel more empowered to create change.

It Wasn’t About Thinking Differently. It Was About Believing I Was Enough. CBT I tried CBT. More than once, actually. And in some ways, it really helped. I learned to notice my unhelpful thoughts. I practised challenging them. I journaled. I had tools. But even with all that, I burned out. Again. And again. And again. Because no matter how many times I told myself I didn’t need to prove anything… Deep down, I still believed I wasn’t enough . That belief didn’t live in my conscious thoughts. It was buried deeper — underneath the overthinking, underneath the drive to do more, be more, help more. It was in the background of every "yes" I said when I wanted to say no. Every time I put someone else first. Every time I pushed through stress and exhaustion because the idea of “not doing enough” made me feel physically ill. Three burnouts. And I still didn’t get it. Until I started working with someone who didn’t just ask me what I was thinking. They helped me uncover what I believed, and when/where I learned it. Coping vs Healing CBT is a wonderful, evidence-based tool. And for many people, it brings real results. It’s structured. It’s practical. It gives you something to do . But when the issue isn’t the behaviour itself — it’s the belief driving it — changing your behaviour can feel like trying to patch a leak without turning off the tap. I could reframe a thought. But I couldn’t stop the subconscious pressure that said, “If you stop achieving, they’ll see you’re not enough.” What finally helped me shift that belief — and the emotional weight that came with it — was a different kind of work. Cognitive Hypnotherapy helped me find the original “seed” of those beliefs, and gently loosen their grip. And slowly, I started to make different choices. Not because I was forcing  myself to behave differently — but because the pressure to prove myself was gone. I truly believed i was enough. Science That Backs It Up I’m not the only one who’s found this helpful.A pilot study published in the Mental Health Review Journal (2015) found that 71% of clients who received Cognitive Hypnotherapy for anxiety or depression considered themselves “recovered” after just four sessions. This compared to around 42% of those using traditional approaches like CBT. That doesn’t mean CBT is wrong. But it does suggest that for some people — especially those with deeper, belief-driven patterns — a more flexible, integrative approach can make a bigger difference, faster. When I Needed More Than Talking Later, when I went through one of the most painful experiences of my life — the traumatic loss of our adoptive daughters — I realised again that not all healing happens through talking. No amount of journaling or thought-challenging could touch the depth of that grief. This is when I turned to EMDR . And not just any EMDR, but a gentle, somatic approach that helped my nervous system slowly feel safe again. That’s the thing about trauma — it isn’t just in the mind. It’s in the body. And unless we include the body in the process, part of us stays stuck. Read about the lingering effects of trauma here . For me, combining Cognitive Hypnotherapy  and Somatic EMDR  created a space where I could grieve, release, and actually move forward. It helped me not just manage my emotions, but truly begin to heal them. How I Can Help If you’ve been trying your best but something still feels stuck… if the same patterns keep showing up even when you know better… it’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s often because something deeper is driving it — and that part of you might need more than logic or tools. It might need compassion, curiosity, and a different way of working. That’s what I offer in therapy. A safe space to explore the root of what’s going on. Not to rehash your past — but to gently untangle the parts of it that still echo today. If you're curious whether Cognitive Hypnotherapy or Somatic EMDR could help, feel free to reach out. I'm always happy to answer questions, and I offer a free consultation if you'd like to talk more about what support could look like for you. FAQs About Therapy Approaches Q: What’s the difference between CBT and Cognitive Hypnotherapy? CBT focuses on identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts, mostly through structured, conscious exercises. Cognitive Hypnotherapy works at both the conscious and unconscious levels — helping you shift the beliefs and emotional patterns that may be fuelling those thoughts in the first place. Q: Can Cognitive Hypnotherapy work for anxiety and burnout? Yes. It’s particularly effective when anxiety or burnout is driven by internal pressure, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or limiting beliefs like “I’m not enough.” It helps reduce the emotional “charge” around these beliefs so they don’t run the show. Q: I’ve tried CBT and it didn’t help. How is this different? CBT is often a top-down approach — changing how you think  in order to change how you feel . Cognitive Hypnotherapy often goes the other way around: helping you change what you believe and feel , which in turn changes how you think and behave . Q: How does Somatic EMDR fit into this? When trauma is involved — whether it’s a big event or a long pattern of feeling unsafe — it often lives in the body. Somatic EMDR uses gentle techniques to help the nervous system release those stuck memories and reactions, making deeper healing possible.

When the Past Won’t Let Go. Why We Can’t Always “Just Move On” Most of us carry things we don’t talk about. Maybe it was something big and obvious, like an accident, a loss, or a traumatic childhood. Or maybe it was something quieter but no less impactful, like growing up with emotional neglect, being in an unhealthy relationship, or constantly feeling unsafe without understanding why. The truth is, trauma isn’t always what happened , but how our system responded when it did. It’s what happens inside us  when we feel powerless, alone, or overwhelmed—and no one is there to help us feel safe again. When a Memory Gets Stuck Our brains are amazing at making sense of life. Most of the time, when something happens, whether it’s joyful, stressful, or just part of daily life, our brain processes it, learns from it, and files it away like a neat folder in a filing cabinet. But when the brain and body can’t fully process what happened during a trauma, that memory can stay stuck . Not as a neat, faded photo filed away, but as a raw, unprocessed fragment of the past — along with all the emotions, body sensations, and beliefs that were present in that moment. And because it hasn’t been stored in the usual way, it can keep showing up in the present. We don’t always remember  it clearly, but our nervous system does. Sometimes we know exactly what’s triggering us. Other times, it hits us out of nowhere—an unexpected wave of emotion, fear, or shame that feels too big  for the current situation. That’s where EMDR  comes in. EMDR in Simple Terms EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing . It’s a highly effective, research-backed therapy for people who’ve experienced trauma, anxiety, PTSD, or emotionally distressing events, big or small. In an EMDR session, we gently activate a memory that may still be stuck, without diving into it or reliving it, and then engage the brain in a rhythmic, side-to-side movement. This could be following my fingers with your eyes, listening to alternating sounds, or tapping each side of your body. It’s called bilateral stimulation , and it’s what helps both sides of the brain talk to each other again. As strange as it may sound at first, this simple back-and-forth movement is powerful. It’s like rebooting a frozen computer. Your brain finally gets the chance to do what it couldn’t do at the time, make sense of what happened , store the memory properly, and move forward. By the end of the process, people often describe feeling lighter. The memory is still there, but it doesn’t sting in the same way. The body feels calmer. The emotional charge softens. And for many, the belief that once came with the memory begins to shift too , from “I’m not safe”  or “It was my fault”  to something gentler and more true, like “I’m okay now.” A Personal Note - Traumatic Loss I’ve been through EMDR myself. It was part of my own healing after the traumatic loss of our adoptive girls, an experience that left deep emotional scars. EMDR helped me move through that trauma in a way that was brief, safe, and deeply effective . It didn’t erase what happened, but it helped my nervous system finally let go of the constant replay. It gave me space to grieve, integrate, and begin to heal. And that’s what I want others to know too: healing is possible , and it doesn’t have to take years. Could EMDR Be Right for You? If something in this post resonated, if you’re living with the ripple effects of past events, or you feel like something is “stuck” and you don’t quite know why, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. And there are gentle, effective ways to help your brain and body recover. You can learn more about how I use Somatic EMDR here ,  or reach out for a free chat  if you’d like to explore whether this approach feels right for you. Sometimes, the first step toward healing isn’t about talking more. It’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to let go. Frequently Asked Questions 1. How do I know if a memory is “stuck”? Sometimes it's clear, like when a memory keeps replaying or triggers intense emotions. Other times, it’s more subtle. You might feel anxious in certain situations, react strongly to things that don’t seem like a big deal, or just have a sense that something is holding you back. These can all be signs that an unresolved memory is still affecting you. 2. Do I have to talk about my trauma in detail for EMDR to work? No. One of the most gentle things about EMDR is that you don’t need to go into every detail of what happened. We work with what your brain and body already know, and you only share what feels safe for you. The process helps your system reprocess the memory without needing to relive it. 3. What if I don’t know why I feel this way? That’s completely okay. You don’t need to have all the answers. Many people come to therapy with a sense that something feels off, but they can’t explain why. EMDR can help uncover the links your mind has made, even if you’re not fully aware of them yet. We follow your system's lead. 4. I’ve had EMDR before and it was overwhelming. Why would this feel different? This is a common concern. The way I work brings in somatic techniques to help you feel safe and grounded before we begin any memory work. We start by building internal resources and calming the nervous system. That way, when we do begin processing memories, your system is better prepared and you stay in control throughout. 5. How many sessions will I need? Every person is different, and so is every healing journey. Some people feel relief in just a few sessions, while others need a bit more time. EMDR is designed to be a focused and effective approach, not something that goes on forever. We go at your pace and adjust as needed.

The Quiet Belief That Drives Everything There’s a voice that lives quietly in the background for many of us. It might sound like: I should be doing more. Sound familiar? This belief, I am not enough , is one of the most common threads I see running through the stories of the clients I work with. And I know it intimately, because it used to run mine too. It’s a belief that drives us to do more, be more, push harder… and yet no matter how much we do, it never quite feels like enough. Because the problem isn’t what we’re doing. It ’s what we believe we are . Where Does That Belief Come From? Often, this feeling doesn’t come from one big traumatic moment.It can begin in the smallest of ways. A teacher who once asked, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” A parent who, without meaning to, praised achievement over effort.Moments of feeling unseen, unheard, or not quite right… that over time, add up. As children, we don’t have the tools to understand context or nuance.Instead, our brain makes meaning: If I wasn’t chosen, I must not be good enough. If I was yelled at, I must have done something wrong. If I try harder, maybe they’ll notice me. And from those moments, a belief is born. One that we carry, quietly, persistently, into adulthood. How “Not Enough” Shows Up in Adult Life This belief doesn’t just sit still. It infiltrates. It can drive us to: Overachieve , hoping that success will finally silence the doubt. People-please , so we don’t risk rejection. Push ourselves , even when we’re running on empty. React defensively  to feedback, because it echoes the very thing we fear. Seek constant approval,  needing to hear that we’re okay from others, because we struggle to feel it inside. It can also look like the opposite: Burnout , because nothing feels good enough to stop. Withdrawal , because what’s the point in trying if you already believe you’ll fall short? Strained relationships , where we either overcompensate or shut down. I’ve been there. Three times in my career I’ve hit burnout, hard , without understanding what was really driving me. I thought I was just a dedicated professional, someone who cared deeply. And I am. But I was also someone unknowingly being led by a belief that no matter what I did, it would never be enough. What If That Belief Isn’t True? Here’s the life-changing thing. That belief? It isn’t a fact. It’s a story . And stories can be changed. One of the most powerful things about QCH Therapy is that it helps you go right to the source, not just to manage the symptoms, but to change the underlying belief. QCH therapy helped me find the origins of that old “not enough” script, and gently rewrite it. Not by pretending everything was fine, or layering on surface-level affirmations… But by actually speaking to that part of me that had held onto the belief for so long. Because when your subconscious realises it doesn’t need to protect you with that old story anymore? That’s when things start to shift. That’s when doing less feels safe. That’s when validation comes from within, not from others. That’s when you start believing you are enough, as you are. Changing the Script In Somatic EMDR and Cognitive Hpnotherapy , we don’t use a one-size-fits-all approach. We work with your story, your experiences, and your beliefs. We uncover where “not enough” came from… And then we change the story. Because once you believe you are enough,  you stop living in fear of falling short. You make decisions from a place of worth, not guilt. You learn to rest, say no, receive love, ask for help—and mean it. You live differently. And it’s not only possible, it’s easier than you might think. You Are Already Enough If you’ve been pushing, striving, doubting, burning out, maybe it’s time to pause and ask: what am I really chasing? Because often, what we’re chasing is a feeling we’ve been missing inside. If that resonates, let’s talk . I offer a free consultation  where we can gently explore what’s been driving your inner voice, and how we can begin to shift it. You’re not broken. You’ve just been trying to feel enough in a world that never taught you how. Let’s change that. Burnout

The Slow Creep of Overwhelm There have been seasons in my life where stress didn’t just knock on the door—it moved in. Not all at once. But slowly, quietly. A few extra responsibilities at work. A child not sleeping. The pressure to show up for everyone, to not drop the ball, to be capable, reliable… strong. At first, I’d tell myself, “ It’s just a busy week. ” Then it became, “ It’s just a phase. ” Until eventually, I couldn’t remember what it felt like to not  feel this way. It wasn’t just stress anymore. It was living in a constant state of edge. Tired, wired, brittle, and teetering on the edge of burnout. What Stress Actually Looks Like (and Feels Like) We throw the word “stress” around all the time. But real stress—the kind that gets into your bones and your breath—can be surprisingly sneaky. It can show up as: Headaches that linger, no matter how much water you drink A stomach that flips or clenches when you think about your to-do list Restless nights where your brain won’t switch off Feeling snappy or shut down with people you love A sense that everything is just too much —even things that used to be manageable And then there’s the quiet stuff: The guilt for not being able to “handle it” The shame of dropping the ball The sense that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough That’s not weakness . That’s a system that’s been running too hard for too long. The Invisible Weight of Expectation For many of us, stress isn’t just about the external pressures—it’s about the internal ones. The voice that says: “You should be able to cope with this.” “Other people are doing more.” “Don’t let anyone down.” So we keep going. We push through. And often, we don’t realise the cost until our body says, “No more.” I know that feeling. I’ve lived it. And I’ve watched so many clients—high-functioning, heart-led, capable people—find themselves quietly falling apart beneath the surface. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. You're Not Meant to Carry It All Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that stress is just a part of being an adult. That feeling overwhelmed is normal. That putting yourself last is noble. But I don’t believe that anymore.Not after what I’ve seen. Not after what I’ve lived. There comes a point where pushing through stops working.Where managing stress isn’t about ticking one more box—it's about gently asking: “What do I believe that’s making this feel so heavy?”“Where did I learn that I had to be everything to everyone?” Because beneath the stress, there’s always a story. And when we can understand that story with kindness—not blame—we start to find new ways to be. You Deserve Ease, Too If you’re living in that space right now—where stress is no longer a passing phase but just the way things are—I want you to know: it doesn’t have to stay this way. You don’t have to keep coping. You don’t have to keep holding it all. There’s space for you to rest. To soften. To feel steady again. And maybe, even to breathe a little easier . Let's Chat.

When Your Mind Won’t Let You Rest There were times in my life where I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong. Even when everything looked fine on the outside, I felt uneasy—like I was waiting for the next thing to go wrong, even if I didn’t know what it was. That’s what anxiety can be like. For me, it often showed up as restlessness I couldn’t explain. Racing thoughts I couldn’t slow down. Or the sense that I had to keep doing more, fixing more, preparing for everything—just in case. I’ve come to understand that anxiety is not just about worrying. It’s about feeling unsafe in your own body and mind —even when the world around you is calm. It’s like walking through fog. You can’t see what’s ahead. Every step feels unsure. And there’s a tension in your chest that never quite goes away. What Anxiety Actually  Is Anxiety is our brain trying to protect us.It scans for danger based on what we've been through—and sometimes, it gets stuck on high alert. You might recognise some of these feelings: A racing heart or shortness of breath Tightness in your chest or jaw Restlessness, like you just can’t settle Trouble sleeping, or waking with a sense of dread Constantly replaying past conversations or worrying about the future Feeling like your thoughts are tangled and hard to quiet And then comes the guilt. The inner critic that says: “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to cope.” But that voice is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system has just been stuck in “protect” mode for too long. Why It’s So Hard to Switch Off Most people think anxiety is just a mindset problem—something you can logic your way out of. But it’s deeper than that. It’s your whole body  reacting to a belief that something bad might happen. And often, that belief comes from somewhere much earlier in life—an experience that taught you that the world, or your place in it, wasn’t safe. That’s why even when life seems good, anxiety can still whisper: “What if something goes wrong?” “What if I mess it up?” “What if I can’t handle it?” And that’s what makes anxiety so exhausting. Because it doesn’t just live in the mind—it lives in the body, in the breath, in the way you carry yourself through the day. You're Not Alone In This If you’re feeling tired of holding it all together…If anxiety is making your world feel smaller…If you’re constantly bracing for something bad to happen… You’re not broken. You’re not overreacting. You’re human. And there is a way forward. You Deserve to Feel Safe Again I don’t believe healing comes from pushing harder or pretending to be okay. It comes from gently learning to feel safe again. In your thoughts. In your body. In your life. That’s what changed everything for me. And it’s what I now help others discover, too. Let’s chat .

Hesitation And The Fear That Froze Me For a long time, I was terrified of making decisions. Not just nervous— terrified . It felt like my life was a narrow path, perched on the edge of a cliff. And every decision—every single one—had one  right answer. One safe step forward. And everything else? A wrong move that would send everything crashing down. I don’t even know where that belief started. But I carried it for years. Every big decision—where to live, whether to take a job, or buy a house—was weighed down with pressure. Even smaller things like booking a holiday or saying yes to an invitation could send me spiralling.Because in the background, I genuinely believed that if I got it wrong, I’d ruin everything. Looking back now, I can see it wasn’t about the choices at all.It was about the fear of getting it wrong. The belief that if i got it wrong, I wasn't enough. Why Indecision Feels So Heavy If you’ve ever stood in the supermarket frozen by too many choices… Or replayed a conversation in your head a hundred times wondering if you said the wrong thing… Or asked everyone around you what to do—because the thought of deciding on your own felt unbearable… You’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Indecision and hesitation often stem from something deeper. It’s not about being “bad at making choices.” It’s about the quiet fear underneath that says: “If I choose wrong, something bad will happen.” “If I disappoint someone, they won’t love me.” “If I make a mistake, it means I’m not good enough.” When we’re holding onto those beliefs, even the smallest decision can feel loaded. And the big ones? They feel impossible. The Truth About “Wrong Choices” The biggest shift for me came when I realised this: There is no single right path. There are just choices—and each one teaches you something. Some choices lead to joy, some to growth, some to redirection.But none of them—none—mean you’ve failed. That’s been life-changing for me.Because once I stopped believing I had to get everything “right,” I started giving myself permission to live . I started to listen to what I actually wanted. To trust that I could figure things out, even if the path was messy. To understand that a detour didn’t mean disaster—it just meant I was learning. Trusting Yourself Again If you’re stuck in indecision right now, I want you to know this: You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need to get it perfect. And you are allowed to choose something—even if it’s scary, even if you change your mind later. You don’t need to earn your right to trust yourself. It’s already yours. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is take one small step forward—even if you’re still afraid. Because confidence isn’t what happens before  the decision. It’s what grows because  you made one. Let’s chat .

It Was “Just a Bridge”... But My Legs Had Other Ideas Years ago, I stood at the edge of the Capilano Suspension Bridge  in Canada—my heart racing, legs wobbling, every cell in my body screaming, “Nope.” To most people, it’s just a bridge. To me? It felt like a test I wasn’t sure I’d pass. I’ve always had a fear of heights. Even the idea of standing on something high would make my stomach flip. But that day, something had shifted. I’d been working on my fear, gently, using the very same techniques I now use with my clients. And I walked across that bridge. Was I totally calm and composed? Not exactly. But I did it. And I came back smiling. Phobias Are More Than Just Fear Phobias aren’t just about being scared.They’re intense, sometimes overwhelming responses that hijack  your body and brain, often without warning. Whether it’s: Standing on a high balcony Getting on a plane Seeing a spider Walking into a crowded room Driving on a motorway …phobias can take what should be ordinary moments and turn them into full-blown panic. And what makes it harder is that part of you knows  the fear might be irrational—but that doesn’t stop your heart from pounding or your palms from sweating. Why Does This Happen? The brain is incredibly clever—but also a little literal.If something once felt dangerous (even if it wasn’t actually life-threatening), your brain stores that experience like a “red flag.” Then, the next time anything remotely similar shows up, your subconscious goes: “This looks like that scary thing. Better freak out to keep you safe.” It’s a protective mechanism—one that was useful once, but now may be stopping you from doing things you’d like to enjoy. There are a few different types of phobias I see in my practice: Specific phobias , like fear of heights, flying, dogs, or needles. Social phobia , where the fear is around being judged or humiliated. Agoraphobia , which can feel like a fear of panic itself—being somewhere you can’t easily escape. Whatever the type, the experience is real—and it can take over daily life if left unchecked. What Phobia Symptoms Can Feel Like Phobia symptoms vary from person to person, but often include: Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath Sweating, shaking, dizziness Nausea or digestive upset Dry mouth or trouble speaking A strong, almost automatic need to avoid the trigger Feeling panicky or out of control And perhaps most frustratingly? Knowing it's not “rational” doesn’t stop it. Which is why just telling yourself to calm down  rarely works. How QCH Therapy Can Help This is where QUEST Cognitive Hypnotherapy  comes in.Unlike one-size-fits-all treatments, QCH works with you —your story, your subconscious, your experience of the fear. Together, we uncover where the phobia began.Often, it’s not where you think.Maybe it was a childhood memory, or a moment where you felt helpless or unsafe. Maybe it wasn’t even your memory—but something passed on through family stories or repeated warnings like “Be careful! That’s dangerous!” Once we’ve found the root, we work gently to reframe  that experience—so your brain no longer sees it as a threat.The result?Your body begins to respond differently. The fear loosens. New possibilities open up. You don’t have to fight the fear. You just have to teach your mind that you’re safe now. A Bridge Between Fear and Freedom Crossing that bridge in Canada wasn’t just about conquering a fear of heights.It was about reclaiming choice.I didn’t feel brave  in the traditional sense. But I did feel empowered. Because I knew my fear wasn’t in control anymore. And that’s what I want for you. Ready to Take the First Step? If there’s something holding you back—whether it’s flying, public speaking, crowds, driving, or anything else— I’d love to help. I offer a free, no-pressure consultation to explore what’s going on and whether QCH Therapy  could be the path that helps you walk across your own “bridge.” Because you can  change how you feel. And it doesn’t have to take years. Let’s work together to help you feel free again.

Burnout Isn’t Just About Stress I've burned out three times in my career. Not just a bit tired or run-down—but full-blown, can’t-function burnout. And the crazy part? I already had dealt with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. You’d think I would’ve known better. But that’s the thing about burnout—it’s not always about logic. It’s about the deep, hidden beliefs that push us beyond our limits, even when our body is screaming please stop . For me, it was the belief that I wasn’t enough. So, I worked harder. I pushed more. I said yes to everything. I tried to be everything to everyone. Because that little voice inside kept whispering: If you just do more, maybe then you’ll be enough. Eventually, my body said no. What Burnout Really Feels Like Burnout isn’t just being tired. It’s being done . Emotionally flat. Mentally foggy. Physically drained. It’s waking up tired no matter how much you sleep. It’s staring at a to-do list and feeling like every item is shouting at you. It’s starting to question everything: your worth, your abilities, your future. And often, the people around you don’t see it coming—because on the outside, you’re still functioning. Still smiling. Still saying yes.But inside? You’re unravelling. I know this space all too well—not just from my own life, but from the stories of so many clients I’ve worked with. The Hidden Driver Behind Burnout One of the biggest realisations I’ve had, personally and professionally, is that burnout is rarely just  about external stress. It’s often about what we’re trying to prove. Maybe you’ve always felt like you needed to work twice as hard to be valued. Or like you couldn’t let anyone down, ever. Maybe your sense of worth is tightly wound up in your achievements, or how much you do for others. These aren’t personality traits—they’re protective patterns , rooted in old beliefs. And the one I see most often? I am not enough. When your subconscious is running that belief, it doesn’t matter how much you do—it will never  feel like it’s enough. So you keep doing more. And more. Until eventually, your system can’t take it anymore. Why Rest Isn’t Always the Solution We often think of burnout as something a holiday can fix. And while rest is important, it’s rarely the full answer. Because if you don’t shift the beliefs that led you to burnout in the first place, guess what? You’ll be back there again in no time. I know—I did it three times. What changed everything for me was Cognitive Hypnotherapy (QCH) . Not because it gave me coping tools (although it does), but because it helped me get to the real reason  I kept running myself into the ground. Through QCH, I was able to uncover where that old belief of “not enough” came from—and begin to change it. Not just in my head, but in the deeper part of me that had been quietly calling the shots for years. What Healing From Burnout Really Looks Like Healing from burnout isn’t about doing nothing.It ’s about doing things differently . It’s learning to: Say no without guilt. Rest without needing to earn it. Value yourself for being , not just doing . Let go of the pressure to prove. Reconnect with your passion, purpose, and peace. And most importantly?It’s about believing—deep down—that you are already enough . Just as you are. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone If you're sitting in that space right now—running on empty, doubting yourself, feeling like there’s no way out—I want you to know there is  a way through. It starts with understanding that burnout isn't your fault . It's the result of deep, often hidden beliefs. And the good news is—those beliefs can be changed. Easier than you might think. Ready to Feel Like Yourself Again? If you're facing burnout or feeling like you're heading toward it, I’d love to talk . I offer a free, no-pressure consultation where we can explore what’s going on for you, and whether QCH Therapy might be the right support. This isn’t about pushing through. It’s about healing  from the inside out. Because you deserve a life where you feel steady, energised, and at peace—without having to earn it. Let’s walk that path together. can tackle burnout and reignite your zest for life. It's about taking that first step towards a life where you're in control, not your stress. Let’s embark on this journey together.

What 29 Years of Marriage Have Taught Me I’ve been married for 29 years. And yes—we’re still happy. But have there been hard times? Absolutely. I think there’s a dangerous myth that a good relationship should always feel easy. That love should be effortless and that any bumps mean something’s wrong. But the truth is, relationships—real ones—take work, patience, and a willingness to grow together. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the years is this: love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a decision. A choice you make—sometimes daily—to show up, to listen, to adapt, to stay connected, especially when life gets messy. Why Relationships Feel So Hard Sometimes When two people come together, they don’t just bring their love and best intentions.They also bring their stuff . We all carry beliefs shaped by our past—many of them formed so early we don’t even realise they’re running the show. Things like: I’m not enough I’m too much I’m not lovable People leave When we hold these beliefs deep down (often without knowing), we can start to filter everything our partner does through that lens. A delayed reply to a text might feel like rejection. A disagreement can feel like abandonment. A bit of distance might trigger a panic that love is fading. And we’re not reacting to our partner in the present—we’re reacting to something old. Something from before them. I’ve seen this pattern so often in my clients. And I’ve experienced it myself. Even in my own marriage, we’ve had to face seasons where things felt disconnected or strained. And every time, it came down to understanding—what were we each bringing into the relationship? What were we reacting to that wasn’t actually happening right now ? Learning to See Each Other Clearly The moment we stop expecting our partner to be responsible for our wounds—and start being curious about our own inner world—things change. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness. In a relationship, each person sees the world through their own lens, shaped by childhood, past experiences, family dynamics, and beliefs. And when those lenses clash (which they will), miscommunication, hurt feelings, and resentment can creep in. But with a little understanding—and a willingness to listen rather than react—it’s possible to see each other more clearly. Why Acceptance and Change Can Coexist One of the keys to the longevity of my relationship has been accepting that we will both change. The person I married is not exactly the same person I’m married to now. And the same goes for me. Relationships aren’t about staying the same—they’re about growing together. Supporting each other through life’s seasons, learning how to reconnect when things feel off, and letting go of the fantasy that anyone else will ever “complete” us. It’s two people choosing, every day, to share their lives. Not out of obligation—but out of intention. How QCH Therapy Can Support Relationship Growth This is where Cognitive Hypnotherapy (QCH) can be a game-changer. Not because it “fixes” your relationship—but because it helps you understand  what’s really going on underneath the surface. QCH helps individuals uncover and shift the beliefs, patterns, and emotional wounds they’re bringing into the relationship—often without even realising it. When you can see where your reactions come from, you begin to respond with more calm and compassion. You stop making your partner the enemy and start recognising the old stories playing out. This work can be deeply empowering. Because when you begin to feel safer, more secure, and more worthy, the whole dynamic in your relationship begins to shift. Let’s Be Honest—Relationships Are Messy and Beautiful There is no perfect partner. No perfect marriage.But there is  the possibility of a strong, loving connection when both people are willing to show up with honesty and kindness—not just for each other, but for themselves. If you’re in a season of struggle, or if you just feel like something’s been “off” for a while, know that you’re not alone. These challenges are part of being human. And you don’t have to navigate it alone. Ready to Understand Your Relationship More Deeply? If you’re facing difficulties in your relationship—or even if you just want to strengthen the foundation—QCH Therapy can help you understand the deeper patterns at play and begin to create change from the inside out. I offer a free consultation  where we can talk about what’s going on for you, and how therapy might help. No pressure. Just a conversation to explore whether this could be the support you need. Because love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about choosing each other — over and over— while learning how to love yourself, too.

Understanding Trauma, Hyper-vigilance, and Why Your Nervous System is on High Alert Have you ever found yourself reacting to something seemingly small in a way that feels... too much ? Maybe it’s a sudden loud noise, a change of plan, a look from someone, or even just the thought of being alone—and your heart races, your mind spins, and your body tenses. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is something I see often in my therapy room—and more importantly, it’s not your fault. Many of us live in a state of hyper-vigilance —that constant feeling of being “on guard" or "on edge". It’s like our nervous system has been trained to expect danger at every turn, even when nothing in our present moment is actually unsafe. And that can feel incredibly exhausting. Trauma Isn’t Always Obvious When we hear the word “trauma,” we often think of major, life-threatening events. But trauma can also come from smaller, repeated experiences that made us feel unsafe—emotionally, physically, or relationally. These could be things like: A parent who was emotionally unavailable or critical A chaotic home environment growing up Being bullied or rejected Experiences of feeling alone in your pain Our nervous system doesn’t just record the events themselves—it learns from them. It stores away messages like: the world isn’t safe, I can’t relax, I have to stay alert just in case. And so even when the threat is no longer there, your body and mind are still acting like it is. Meet Your Inner FBI Agent One way I often explain this to clients is like this: Imagine that inside your subconscious is a radar for danger. For most people, it’s like a gentle security guard, wandering along asking, “Is that safe? Yep, I’m all good.” But for you? It might feel more like a highly-strung FBI agent—gun drawn, scanning every corner, checking every shadow, expecting the worst at any moment. It’s no wonder you might feel jumpy, anxious, or overwhelmed when new situations come up. You’re already on high alert, already carrying the weight of past experiences that told you the world might not be safe. But here’s the key thing to know: you can talk to that FBI agent. You can begin to reassure that part of you that it doesn’t have to stay on guard forever. It ’s Not Your Fault So many clients ask me: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be calm like other people? But what if there’s nothing wrong with you at all? What if your mind and body are simply responding exactly as they were taught to do, based on your past? Understanding this is powerful. Because it shifts the question from what’s wrong with me? to what happened to me? — and that’s where healing begins. How QCH Therapy Can Help In QCH Therapy, we work gently with your subconscious to help it feel safe again. We explore the root of that hyper-vigilance—not by reliving trauma, but by changing the beliefs that were formed during those experiences. We speak directly to that inner radar, letting it know: You are safe now. You have everything you need within you to be strong. You can choose calm over chaos. This is not your fault. Over time, that inner FBI agent starts to lower its weapon, to trust that things have changed, to stand down. And with that, you begin to feel lighter, calmer, and more in control — because your body finally feels it can rest. Ready to Start Feeling Safe Again? If any of this resonated with you, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. I offer a free consultation  where we can gently explore what’s going on for you and how therapy can help. It’s not about fixing you—because you’re not broken.It ’s about helping you feel safe enough to live the life you want to live. Because you deserve that. Truly. Let's Chat. On edge

When That Inner Voice Won’t Let Up Have you ever noticed how quick your mind can be to judge you?That inner voice that says: You should have done better. Why can’t you just get it right? You’re probably not good enough anyway… I know that voice. I’ve lived with it, too. For many years, even when everything looked “fine” on the outside, I still had that quiet, constant undercurrent of self-doubt. Whether it was work, relationships, friendships—there was always that feeling of not quite being enough . I could tick every box and still not feel satisfied. And no amount of praise or success really shifted it. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. Low self-esteem is something so many of us silently carry. It shapes how we see ourselves, how we show up in the world, and how we let others treat us. And most of the time? We don’t even realise how much it’s running the show. What is Self-Esteem, Really? Self-esteem is essentially the way we feel  about ourselves—our worth, our value, our sense of being good enough. And when it’s low, it affects everything. You might notice things like: Constantly criticising yourself—even over the small stuff Struggling to accept compliments or feeling awkward when people say nice things Assuming the worst about yourself, even when there’s no evidence Comparing yourself to others and always coming up short Feeling like you have to prove your worth just to be accepted These aren’t just “bad habits”—they’re usually rooted in deep, old beliefs that were formed a long time ago. Where It All Begins Low self-esteem doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Often, it begins in childhood, in the subtle moments that make us question our value: A parent who was critical instead of encouraging A teacher who always noticed your mistakes, but never your effort Sibling dynamics that made you feel overlooked Growing up in an environment where love felt conditional And we don’t need to be told directly, “You’re not good enough” . Sometimes, all it takes is a look, a silence, or a repeated pattern—and we begin to believe it ourselves. Those beliefs settle deep inside, and as adults, we carry them into relationships, careers, parenting… everything. We start to measure our worth by what we do , not who we are . My Journey with QCH Therapy It wasn’t until I started my own journey with Cognitive Hypnotherapy  that things began to shift. QCH helped me uncover where that low self-worth had come from—and more importantly, showed me that it didn’t have to stay that way. We worked with the root beliefs—those quiet, powerful thoughts that had been running my inner world for years. And by speaking to my unconscious mind in a way it could understand and trust, I began to rewrite the script. It didn’t happen overnight. But the difference is real. Now, when that inner critic tries to take over, I meet it with kindness—not obedience. I no longer need external validation in the way I once did. And I feel more grounded in who I am, rather than who I think I should  be. You Can Change the Story If you’ve been carrying this weight too, I want you to know this: That belief—that you’re not good enough? It’s not the truth. It’s a belief. And beliefs can be changed. Cognitive Hypnotherapy isn’t about quick fixes or toxic positivity. It’s about gently, powerfully helping you see yourself differently.We go to the root.We shift the beliefs.We help your mind feel safe enough  to let go of those old patterns.And from there, you get to build a relationship with yourself that feels true, solid, and kind. Are You Ready to Feel Good About You? If any of this resonated with you, I’d love to talk . You don’t have to keep battling with yourself.There is another way—a way that’s kinder, quieter, more peaceful. Let’s begin with a free consultation , where we can explore what’s been holding you back and what healing could look like for you. You deserve to feel worthy. Not because of what you do—but because of who you are. And I’d be honoured to walk that journey with you.