Goals land differently when your whole nervous system is invited into the process, not dragged along behind your plans. You may know exactly what you “should” be doing – resting more, exercising, setting boundaries, finishing a project, slowing your phone use – and yet watch yourself stall, flare into a burst of effort, then crash. In my Weybridge practice I use somatic work and EMDR to help goals fit the reality of your body, so progress becomes steadier and less punishing.
We begin by recognising that your system already has a history with goals. Maybe it remembers harsh self-talk, diets, training plans, productivity pushes, or periods of burnout and recovery. Part of you may want change; another part may tense up as soon as you say “I’m going to sort this out now.” Goal-focused somatic EMDR in Weybridge starts with listening to both parts. We’re not only asking, “What do you want to achieve?” but also, “What happens inside you when you imagine going for it?”
From there, we train regulation so change has a safe place to land. Together we practise small, practical ways of settling your nervous system:
letting your jaw soften so your teeth are not always on guard
allowing your gaze to widen so you see the whole room, not just the next task
feeling your feet properly supported by the floor
lengthening your exhale just enough to signal “a little more space”
These cues reduce friction inside your system. When your body is slightly less on high alert, effort becomes more sustainable. You are no longer asking a braced, exhausted nervous system to carry one more plan; you’re giving it a different way of being as you move toward what matters.
Somatic awareness then helps us catch the early signs that strain is building. Before you “fail” another goal, your body usually shows you what’s happening: tightness around the ribs, narrow shallow breathing, a head full of rushing thoughts, a familiar urge to speed up or zone out. In goals work with somatic EMDR in Weybridge, we treat these early sensations as vital data, not as evidence that you’re weak or unmotivated.
We map your patterns together: when do you start over-promising, staying up late to “catch up”, saying yes when you mean no, or abandoning routines after a single wobble? Instead of waiting until willpower burns out and shame takes over, we design small, kind adjustments at the first sign of strain – a pause, a breath, a boundary phrase, a realistic scaling-back of the plan. This way, the goal can flex without collapsing.
EMDR then helps us work with the “sticky moments” that repeatedly derail your plans. These might be old critiques that still echo when you try something new, stumbles that left you feeling humiliated, or long-standing beliefs such as “If I’m not perfect, I’ve failed” or “I always give up in the end.” EMDR’s bilateral rhythm – gentle left/right eye movements, taps or sounds – supports your brain and body to reprocess those experiences, so they stop hijacking your nervous system every time you aim for change.
We work in short, paced rounds rather than overwhelming marathons. In EMDR for goals and performance in Weybridge, each set is anchored by regulation: feet, breath, soft jaw, wide gaze. We pause often to check how your system is coping and to return fully to the present. The aim is not simply to “push through blocks”, but to update the story your nervous system tells about what happens when you try, stumble, rest or change direction.
As those deeper knots begin to loosen, we bring the work right down into the specifics of your life. Together we anchor goals in micro-steps that can actually live inside real days:
a one-minute morning settle before you check messages
a pre-meeting breath and body check so you enter the room differently
a mid-day reset that stops you tipping from “busy” into “frazzled”
a realistic “minimum version” of a habit for tough days, so you stay connected instead of abandoning it
These steps are deliberately small and chosen with your nervous system in mind. They respect shifts in energy, health, work and caring responsibilities. Over time, this approach tends to reduce the boom-and-bust pattern: instead of big heroic pushes followed by collapse, you build an underlying rhythm of “small, doable, repeated”. Clients often report that they don’t just reach their goals more consistently – they feel less brutalised by the process.
As your system learns that change no longer means self-attack or exhaustion, your relationship with goals begins to soften. Trying again stops feeling like walking back into the same trap. You may notice more room for experimentation, imperfection and rest alongside commitment. Progress might still be uneven at times – that’s human – but the swings get smaller, and your capacity to course-correct grows.
If you’re curious about working with your goals in a way that includes your body, not just your to-do list, you’re welcome to start with questions. To enquire or arrange an initial somatic EMDR session in Weybridge, please use the contact page: https://www.cherie-james.com/contact
— you can share what you’re aiming for, how your nervous system currently reacts to change, and what kind of pace feels bearable. From there, we can explore whether this nervous-system-aware, EMDR-informed way of working is the right next step for you.
FAQ
Q1. How do you link EMDR work to personal goals?
We stabilise first, then process blocks and build micro‑steps that are directly tied to what you value.
Q2. Will plans stay realistic for busy weeks?
Yes—brief, repeatable anchors and boundaries you can use in minutes.
Q3. Do I choose pace and focus areas?
Always. Consent and capacity guide every step of the plan.