Big plans often look beautiful on paper and brutal in real life. You might map out a perfect morning routine, a new way of relating, a different relationship with work or rest… and then the school run, emails, symptoms, deadlines and other people’s needs arrive. In my Weybridge practice I work with somatic therapy and EMDR to do almost the opposite of what hustle culture suggests: we shrink change down until it can actually fit inside the day you already have. Micro-steps slip between the cracks of real life, and that’s what makes them sticky.
We start by building regulation you can access anywhere – not just on a yoga mat or in a quiet weekend retreat. In session, we experiment with tiny, repeatable cues that your nervous system can recognise: letting your eyes soften and take in more of the room instead of zooming in on one problem; feeling more of your weight through your feet into the floor; allowing your shoulders to lower a few millimetres as your exhale lengthens. These are not dramatic exercises. They are small signals that tell your body, “Right now, I am here, and I have a little more room than my alarm system thinks.”
As these anchors become familiar, we use somatic awareness to notice the early flickers that usually lead into spirals. Perhaps your breath suddenly climbs into your chest while you read emails, your jaw clamps down when a certain person messages, your stomach tightens before you open your banking app, or your shoulders creep towards your ears when you walk into particular rooms. In micro-step-focused work in Weybridge we slow this down together and get really specific: this thought, this sensation, this moment in the day is when your system starts to tilt.
Instead of waiting for the full spiral – the argument, the shutdown, the binge, the hours lost to scrolling, the sleepless night – we pair these early cues with quick, kind actions. A three-breath pause before you hit “reply”. A deliberate feeling of your feet as you cross a threshold. A short grounding gesture (hand to chest, hand on the back of the chair) before you say yes or no. These actions are designed to be fast enough to use in real life, not just in theory. We want your body to learn: “When I notice this, I can try that instead of being dragged along.”
EMDR then comes in to support deeper updating, so these micro-steps are not fighting against a flood of old beliefs on their own. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) uses bilateral stimulation – gentle left/right eye movements, taps or sounds – to help your system reprocess experiences that have made big plans feel dangerous, pointless or overwhelming. We might focus on school memories of being shamed for mistakes, hospital stays that left you hyper-vigilant, past burnouts, or long stretches of caring for others where your needs never counted.
In my Weybridge EMDR work we keep rounds short and grounded. Before and after each set of bilateral stimulation we come back to your anchors: feet, gaze, breath, contact with the room. During the sets you’re invited to notice whatever arises – images, thoughts, body sensations – without having to force or control it. We pause frequently to check capacity and consent, adjusting distance and pace so your system is not flooded. The aim is for the “stuck” moments – the ones that whisper “What’s the point?” or “You always fail at this” – to loosen their grip.
Crucially, we don’t treat EMDR and micro-steps as separate worlds. Between rounds of processing, we actively weave in the tiny actions you’re rehearsing in daily life. We might notice, for example, that each time a particular belief surfaces (“If I rest, everything will collapse”), your body learns to pair it with a grounding exhale and a realistic, kind choice instead of a collapse into overwork or avoidance. This integration helps learning land; it tells your nervous system that what happens in the session has a place to live in the week.
Between appointments, we keep things deliberately small and doable. Together we design micro-steps that respect your actual capacity, not your fantasy capacity. That might mean:
a one-minute morning check-in before your phone comes off airplane mode
a three-breath pause every time you sit down at your computer
a “minimum version” of a habit for hard days (one stretch instead of a full workout; a glass of water instead of a perfect meal)
a tiny evening ritual – one lamp, one slower breath, one sentence that tells your body the day is winding down
These moves are intentionally modest so they can survive childcare, long commutes, symptoms, busy seasons and low-motivation days. Over time, your system starts to trust that you are not about to hit it with another impossible overhaul. Effort begins to feel more like collaboration and less like warfare.
As this process unfolds, many people notice a quiet but powerful shift: they begin to trust themselves again. Goals may still wobble. There will still be off days. But the pattern of huge bursts followed by long crashes (“boom-and-bust”) softens. You see yourself follow through on tiny steps, even when you’re tired, and your nervous system learns that change does not have to mean self-punishment or perfection. Momentum grows not because you suddenly have more willpower, but because the work now fits your actual capacity.
You can engage in this micro-step, somatic EMDR approach with me in person in Weybridge, online, or with a blend of the two. We decide together how big any experiment should be and adjust whenever life changes around you – which it will. The intention is always the same: make change small enough that it can actually stick.
If you’re tired of beautiful plans that collapse as soon as life gets loud, this way of working might help. To ask questions or arrange an initial session, please use the contact page: https://www.cherie-james.com/contact
— you can outline where big plans tend to fall apart for you, what you’ve already tried, and what kind of small, realistic shift would feel like a relief. From there, we can explore whether this micro-step-centred, somatic EMDR work in Weybridge is a good next step.
FAQ
Q1. Why use micro‑steps in EMDR‑informed change?
They’re repeatable under pressure, turning new learning into everyday behaviour.
Q2. What might micro‑steps look like for me?
One‑minute settles, doorway pauses, boundary sentences and short after‑work transitions.
Q3. Can I keep progress on heavy weeks?
Yes—micro‑steps are designed to survive busy schedules and low energy days.