Healthy Boundaries Therapy Weybridge treats limits not as punishment or distance, but as living bridges between you and other people. A good boundary lets you bring more honesty into a relationship without harming yourself in the process. It creates a way for truth and care to travel together. In my Weybridge practice I use somatic therapy and EMDR to help you build those bridges on purpose, at a pace your nervous system can handle.
We begin not with difficult conversations, but with your body. Clear boundaries are almost impossible when your system is braced, flooded or frozen. So first we practise regulation that steadies your voice, face and posture. In the room we experiment with small, practical shifts: letting your gaze widen so you see more than the other person’s reaction; feeling your weight genuinely held through your feet; allowing your exhale to lengthen just enough that your shoulders soften by a few millimetres. These are tiny changes, but they give your body an internal “platform” to stand on when you speak.
As these anchors become more available, we bring somatic awareness to the exact moment where you usually give way. Everyone has a pattern. Perhaps your shoulders drop when someone sounds disappointed. Maybe your chest tightens and you rush to apologise, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. You might find a bright, automatic smile arriving to hide the “no” that was there a second before. In Boundaries Therapy Weybridge we slow these moments down and get really curious about them.
Instead of labelling yourself a “people-pleaser” and stopping there, we track what your body is trying to protect. That softening of your spine, the sudden laugh, the quick agreement – these are not random; they are strategies that once kept you safe: from anger, from withdrawal, from criticism, from being shamed as selfish or difficult. We treat these protectors with respect. They get a seat in the room, because fighting them usually makes them clamp down harder.
Once your bodily signals and patterns are clearer, EMDR helps us work with the history underneath them. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) uses bilateral stimulation – gentle left/right eye movements, taps or alternating sounds – to support your brain and body in reprocessing experiences that taught you boundaries were dangerous or costly.
That might be:
growing up in a home where “no” was punished or ignored
relationships where you had to manage someone else’s moods to stay safe
school or work environments where speaking up brought ridicule or exclusion
long stretches of caregiving where your needs simply never counted
In EMDR for boundary work in Weybridge we approach these memories in short, paced rounds. Before each round we return to your anchors – feet, breath, gaze, contact with the room – so your system knows that now is different from then. During the bilateral sets we track what arises in your body and mind and pause often to check consent and capacity. You decide how close we go and when we stop for the day. The goal isn’t to drag you through every difficult scene; it’s to gently update the old rules that say, “If I set a limit, something terrible will happen.”
As those rules begin to soften, we turn toward practice – not role-playing elaborate scripts, but building simple, repeatable ways for your “no” and “not today” to move through your body. Between sessions we rehearse short lines and micro-gestures that fit you, not a stereotype. That might include:
a neutral sentence you can use when you need more time: “I’ll come back to you about that.”
a boundary phrase that protects your energy: “I can’t take that on right now.”
a small posture shift that reminds you you’re allowed to hold your ground: feet flatter, back a little more supported, chin not dropping
We practise these from a regulated state so your nervous system links them with steadiness rather than panic. The intention is for “no” to feel kind and clear, not explosive or apologetic.
Slowly, you begin to test these new bridges out in real life – perhaps first in lower-stakes situations, then gradually in more important relationships. After each attempt we look together at what happened inside you, not just at the other person’s reaction. Did your chest clamp down? Did you feel shaky afterwards? Did you want to undo your “no” immediately? These responses are normal; we use them as information to refine our work, to add support where your system needs more holding.
Over time, many people notice that setting a boundary moves from feeling like a crisis to feeling like an option. You may still feel nerves, but less aftermath of shame or self-attack. Resentment often begins to decrease, because you are no longer saying “yes” to quite so many things your body experiences as a “no.” Relationships can become more honest – even if some of them change shape – because you are showing up as a whole person rather than a constantly-available resource.
You can engage in this boundary-focused somatic EMDR work with me in person in Weybridge, online, or with a mixture of both, depending on your health, energy and schedule. The pace is always negotiated; your system’s sense of safety sets the speed.
If you recognise yourself in the patterns of over-agreeing, over-apologising or avoiding conflict and would like support shifting them, you’re welcome to start gently. To ask questions or arrange an initial session, please use the contact page: https://www.cherie-james.com/contact
— you can outline where boundaries feel most difficult, what you’re afraid might happen if you start using them, and what a kinder, clearer “no” would make possible in your life. From there, we can explore whether this somatic and EMDR-informed boundary work in Weybridge is a good next step for you.
FAQ
Q1. How do boundaries fit into EMDR work?
They protect capacity. We practise phrases and postures while processing the blocks that make them hard.
Q2. Will practice be linked to my real life?
Yes—scripts for meetings, messages and doorways, adjusted to your voice.
Q3. Is consent central in this practice?
Always. You choose what, where and how far to go.