Consent-led therapy in Weybridge is built on a simple, radical belief: you do not need to surrender control in order to heal. For many people, therapy has felt like something that “happens to them” – questions asked too quickly, stories opened before they are ready, EMDR done at a pace their body cannot match. In my practice, consent is not a one-time form or a polite preamble. It is the method itself. When your system can genuinely choose pace, depth and distance, it stops defending and starts cooperating.
From the very beginning we treat your nervous system as an active participant, not a passive recipient. As you talk, we pay close attention to how your body votes “yes” and “no”: the way your shoulders tense when we approach a certain topic, the way your breath shortens, how your eyes drift away, or the subtle softening that appears when something feels right. These cues matter as much as your words. Consent-led therapy Weybridge work is about learning this internal language together so that you are never pushed past what your system can safely hold.
To make real choice easier, we first stabilise with simple anchors. We might gently widen your gaze so your body feels the whole room instead of just the problem. We help your feet feel more connected to the ground, noticing the weight through the soles. We experiment with a slightly longer out-breath, just enough to signal “a little more safety” without forcing. A hand resting on your chest or upper arm can become a physical marker of self-contact, reminding you that you are here, in the present, not back in an old experience. These practices are small, but they create the conditions in which it becomes genuinely possible to say, “Yes, I can go there,” or “No, that’s too close for today.”
Somatic awareness then deepens the conversation. Together we learn to spot the first hints of “no” and “yes” in your body, long before overwhelm. “No” might arrive as tight ribs, a frozen neck, a foggy head, a sudden urge to change the subject or to please me. “Yes” might show up as a slight drop in your shoulders, a fuller breath, or a sense of having just enough space to continue. In consent-led therapy in Weybridge, we do not override these signals in the name of progress. Instead, we adjust the distance to the material, change the method, or take a pause – because respecting those signals is the progress.
When EMDR is part of the work, this consent focus stays central. EMDR’s bilateral stimulation (eye movements, taps or alternating tones) is used in short, titrated sets, rather than long, gruelling runs. Before we begin, we agree how close to stand to a memory or belief, what we will do if your system says “stop”, and how you can signal “slow down” or “step back” at any moment. During the sets we pause frequently, not only to ask how you are doing in words, but also to check what your body is telling us: breath, posture, tension, impulse to curl in or move away.
These pauses are not interruptions; they are built-in consent checks. They give your system a chance to digest what has already shifted and to decide whether it has room for more. The aim is effective processing that remains humane – updates that land at a tolerable pace, rather than dramatic sessions that leave you feeling wrung out and alone with too much. Over time, this repeated experience of being listened to, adjusted to, and believed by your therapist can itself be deeply reparative, especially if you have a history of your boundaries not being honoured.
Consent-led therapy Weybridge does not stop when you leave the room. We also look at how consent – or the lack of it – shows up in your daily life. Where do you routinely override yourself? Perhaps you say “yes” when your body is screaming “no”, stay too long in draining conversations, push through work when your system needs a break, or agree to social plans you don’t have the capacity for. Together we craft micro-rituals and phrases that help protect your consent outside therapy:
a doorway pause to check “Do I actually want to walk into this?”
a simple boundary sentence you can realistically say, such as “I’d like to stop there for today” or “I can’t do that this week.”
a short check-in with your body before replying to messages or invitations
a brief evening reflection: “Where did I ignore my ‘no’ today? Where did I honour it?”
These small acts are how consent becomes part of your nervous system’s daily life, not just a concept you discuss once a week. As you practise, your body begins to trust that you will listen when it whispers, so it does not need to shout so loudly with symptoms, panic or shutdown.
Over time, people often notice that the internal battle softens. You may still feel anxious, sad or angry at times, but you no longer feel so compelled to push yourself past your limits in order to please, perform or survive therapy. EMDR and other deep work become less frightening because you know you have real veto power over pace and content. Relationships outside the room can shift too, as your capacity to notice and act on your own “yes” and “no” strengthens.
If you have ever felt rushed, overwhelmed or unheard in therapy, a consent-led approach may be particularly supportive. You do not need to be “ready to dive in” to begin; we can start exactly where your system is now, with all its hesitations and mixed feelings. To ask questions or arrange an initial consent-led therapy session in Weybridge, please use the contact page: https://www.cherie-james.com/contact
— you can outline what has and hasn’t worked for you in previous support, what you are hoping might change, and what pace currently feels even slightly possible. From there, we can explore whether this somatic, EMDR-informed, consent-centred way of working is the right fit for you.
FAQ
Q1. How is consent made visible in EMDR here?
We agree focus, distance and timing together and check in often; you can slow, stop or step back anytime.
Q2. Does consent reduce effectiveness of processing?
No—it increases stability. When safety is real, updates hold and are easier to repeat.
Q3. Are there flexible formats for sessions?
Yes—Weybridge and secure online work are both available.