Patterns are not proof that you are broken; they are proof that your nervous system has been working hard on your behalf. The overthinking, freezing, overworking, people-pleasing, scrolling late at night, shutting down in conflict – all of these are your system’s best ideas so far for staying safe. In my Weybridge practice I use somatic EMDR to honour those patterns and offer them better options, so you are not stuck living the same loop again and again.
Before we try to change anything, we stabilise. Your body needs enough steadiness to risk a new way of responding. Together we practise simple, concrete anchors: letting your gaze widen so you see the whole room; feeling your feet really supported by the floor; noticing the contact of your back against the chair; allowing your exhale to be a little longer and softer. These are not abstract relaxation tips – they are practical ways of telling your nervous system, “Right now, in this room, I am safe enough.” When that message begins to land, your system is more willing to explore something different.
Once there is some grounding under us, we start to map your patterns in detail. Somatic awareness means paying attention to how a loop unfolds, not just labelling it “anxiety” or “avoidance”. We look at where tension first appears: maybe in your jaw when someone’s tone changes, in your chest when you open emails, or in your stomach when you see a particular name on your phone. We track how thoughts follow: “Here we go again”, “I’ve messed this up”, “They’re angry with me”, “I need to fix this immediately.” Then we notice when behaviour locks in: apologising too much, shutting down, saying yes when you mean no, working late, reaching for numbing habits.
This mapping isn’t about judging you; it’s about precision. When we understand exactly where a loop starts, and how it gathers speed, we can place interventions kindly and specifically – at the first breath that tightens, not only after the spiral has already taken over. Many clients find that simply seeing their pattern laid out clearly already brings a sense of space and compassion: “Oh, of course I do that. It’s how my system learned to cope.”
With this understanding in place, we can invite EMDR into the process. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) uses bilateral stimulation – gentle left–right eye movements, taps or alternating sounds – to help your brain and body reprocess experiences that have kept these loops in place. Often, today’s pattern is anchored to something older: a classroom humiliation that still lives in your chest, years of being criticised at home, medical procedures, relationship breaks, or quiet chronic stresses that taught you “I must not get it wrong” or “My needs are a problem.”
In sessions, we work with those experiences in a careful, paced way. EMDR rounds are short and titrated rather than long and overwhelming. Before each set we come back to your anchors – grounded feet, wider gaze, steady exhale – so your system knows where “here and now” is. During the sets we track what changes in your body, thoughts and emotions. We pause often to check consent and capacity: is this still okay, do we need to widen the distance, do we need to come back to the present for a while? You are never expected to just “push through”. The aim is for the loop to update in digestible pieces, not to flood you.
As the work progresses, people frequently notice that old patterns begin to loosen. The email still arrives, the conflict still happens, the memory still exists – but your body does not jump quite as fast, or as far, into the old reaction. There is a little more room to breathe before you reply, a tiny gap before you say “yes” automatically, a softer landing after a mistake. EMDR has not erased your history; it has given your system a wider range of options for what to do next.
The change does not stay in the therapy room. Between sessions we deliberately bring the work into ordinary spaces: corridors, kitchens, doorways, your desk, the supermarket queue. Together we choose light practices that fit your real life – a breath and foot-check each time you walk through a particular door, a brief pause before you open messages from certain people, a hand to your chest when you notice your mind starting to race. These are not meant to be perfect or rigid. They are small, repeatable invitations for the new pattern to show up where the old one used to run the show.
Over time, this combination – stabilising the body, mapping the loop, processing with EMDR, and practising tiny shifts in daily environments – creates change that is both kinder and more reliable. Instead of feeling like you have to fight your patterns every day, you begin to experience them as something you can understand, work with and gradually reshape. Your system still wants to protect you; it just gains more flexible, less exhausting ways to do that.
If you recognise yourself in these loops and would like support in updating them, you are very welcome to start with simple questions rather than big commitments. To enquire or arrange an initial somatic EMDR session in Weybridge, please use the contact page: https://www.cherie-james.com/contact
— you can outline the patterns that feel most stuck, what you’ve already tried, and what kind of pace feels realistic. From there, we can explore whether this pattern-focused, body-aware EMDR approach is a good fit for you.
FAQ
Q1. What does ‘pattern shifting’ look like in EMDR?
Short bilateral sets with pauses while tracking sensation and meaning so loops can update safely.
Q2. How do we avoid forcing change?
We watch capacity, use titration and return to regulation whenever needed.
Q3. Are results supported between sessions?
Yes—tiny anchors and boundary phrases that keep updates alive at work and home.